a letter to up above

dear margot:

well, i finally did it! after 2 1/2 years of growing out this monstrosity of a mane, i FINALLY chopped off my hair. granted, i wanted to do this about a month ago, the forces that be didn't want that to happen. and in a way, i'm really pleased it happened this weekend, because your birthday is in a couple days! you are one of most kind, funny, wonderful people i have known and i am proud to have known you at all, and even more proud to call you a friend. that's why it was so easy for me to do this. i have never been so sure about anything in my life. i know you are around, so i know that you know all this, but i wanted to say this anyway. i really miss you.

i hope you're playing a round of trivial pursuit this weekend.

love you crazy lady!

  • Current Music
    sufjan stevens - the black hawk war...


life is a bit overwhelming at the moment.

although i have found an apartment and know i will be able to move into it pretty soon (i will pin down a specific date tomorrow when i sign the lease), work has been trying on my nerves.

lasalle bank was bought out by bank of america about a year ago and after many smaller changes in the company, they are overhauling the lasalle side to convert to the bank of america system. the physical conversion takes place on the 24th, however for the past 3 weeks or so, 4 coworkers and i have been prepping our system for the changes. of course, we are opening somewhere in the area of 8 new accounts which now need to be opened on the new system and literally everything about account openings (which im completely in charge of) has changed. our rep has no idea how to handle either conversion or the new accounts.

of course, this is on top of all the other work i'm doing. such as getting marshall's coffee. and dialing in his conference calls (although a small victory was yesterday's refusal to dial in a call).

with all this stress i just miss being in my own Home.

this weekend i have plans to go to my friend's wedding shower, and tuesday i'm supposed to volunteer @ the MCA.

i am looking forward to some normalcy.
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    stressed stressed

an explosive phone call

so i got a phone call last week saying there was a small fire at the apartment and my apartment sustained some damage.

propane tank exploded, workers fled, BIG HOLE in ceiling.

lots of headaches since then. moved some things to suburbs. apartment searched. moved to hotel. back to a week from hell at work. moved more things to hotel. lots of trouble with temporary housing payments...it was go go go go go for 6 days straight.

FOUND AN APARTMENT in roscoe village. thank god. other than work, i'm able to relax a little.

will sign lease next week and pay deposit.

in burbs now. frank, kathy, annie are here. meg, atilla, louise, harringtons and zajdelas are coming out. as well as some flossmoor friends.

can't wait to see my godson.

or move.

(on a side note, i'm so tired from the past week and 2 days that i passed out on my moms couch and slept there in my day clothes until this morning)
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    exhausted exhausted

the little things

its the little things in life that i focus on that either make or break me.

its the little things that remind me of wonderful times. the little things that break me down into tears.

there are times i still really miss margot.


everything is comin up mary.

things are gettin busy. and good.

July 10-12: homewood days, hangin with laura, and wedding stuff
July 15: jaime visits!!
July 16-20: angie visits! and beer garden walk on the 18th @ lincoln park
July 27: cubs game v. astros
August 13-16: Frathy, Annie, Louise, Meghan, AND ATILLA in town. BBQ in burbs.
August 23: Courtney's wedding shower
September 4: MN for Belden Bash
September 24: SDRE!!!!
October 3: Courtney and Miguel's wedding
October 9-12: Maine/NH
October 22: GUK?

omg.so much going on.i love it.
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful

what a random dream

so i have to get back in the habit of writing my dreams down. even though i know reading someone else's dreams arent that great unless you're in them.

anyway, so in my dream i'm in school again and then i move to california on an exchange program where i'm living with my current coworker, jan, and her husband steve. all the sudden i see rachel kerwin walk down the street where she exclaims she is also doing an exchange program but has nowhere to stay. so jan lets her stay at their house until she gets on her feet. after that, we get lost in their neighborhood, which has all of the sudden become both laden with hills and people from my past. then, all of the sudden, rachel screams a profanity and we realize her mom is on her way, and when her mom arrives, she starts yelling about a paper bag which was left in the hallway.

then i think i woke up.
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    weird weird
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it's been a while

it's been a while...

life has been pretty pleasant. i've been acquainting myself with the merlo library on belmont... or, really i'm acquainting myself with the chicago public library website and the front desk of the merlo library. i've caught up on some really great books, including the entire harry potter series, since easter. i've also taken the time to burn each of the movies so far. i'm really really looking forward to the next one that comes out, even though i entirely understand the superiority of the books. the movies really are still well done.

my birthday came and went. as i've been hanging out with andy and bridget so much lately, bridget took it upon herself to plan my party which i will forever be grateful for. we celebrated a week after (since tony and elisa were in town for a wedding on my birthday and the next day was mother's day) and i went to a cubs game and then went bowling and went to some bars. felt like total shit the next day, but i had a ton of fun so it was worth it.

this weekend is memorial day weekend and i'm taking a half-day to go to a house we rented in michigan city. bridget and andy are picking me up from work, with lauren, jason, steve, and ryan meeting us out there a bit later. i'm seriously looking forward to hangtime in the sun and grilling. i'm in charge of sunday night dinner and i've planned skirt steak/chicken, black bean salad, and guacamole/salsa and chips. PLUS we're goin to redamaks on sunday! woot!

coming up in 2 weeks i am going to NYC for atilla's baptism (annie and i are the godparents) and i'm staying with paige/chris! then 2 weeks later, alicia and maloney are coming to visit chicago! 

the good times continue...
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i had a really pretty nice weekend, which included really amazing weather. friday anna and i went to see nick's play "pacific overtures" at the porchlight theater on belmont and racine and it was awesome. nick did a great job and i'm really happy that i got to see him in it.

anyway. saturday i did some errands during the day and caught up on some BSG until the evening and then tim, ryan, steve, and i met up with bridget, andy, collette and their friend jamie at prost. it was an alright bar, but they also served beer in liter sized which was ridiculous. andy got a boot (2 liters) and the rest of us just got one liters. then we headed up to town hall pub on halsted, which i had only been to once before. i have gotta start goin to that place more often, its such a dive. of course, we ended the night at the closet and i could barely walk home. i had given tim my keys earlier in the night bc he got trashed so quickly (and seemingly out of nowhere), so i was worried i was about to have locked myself out, but he actually let me in. so then i woke up this afternoon at like 4 pm, i got a text from steve and andy and they were about to bbq, so i walked my bike over to kozy's and then rode to andy's place. first bike ride of the season for me! yay! i had to leave it there though bc i was unprepared for the cold. anywho. it was fun times, and we played cornhole... i think thats what its called. i did kind of alright. sort of. bridget and i formed a team with andy and ryan, and we called oursels randy midgets. so not clever, but it was hilarious at the time anyway.

ugh. i do not wanna go to work tomorrow....

or... really any day.

its coming back to me

my ...cousin... (i say that because figuring out what degree cousin she is every time i talk about her is a headache) alenka, who is one of my relatives from slovenia, found me on facebook yesterday. i felt like, this warmth in my heart at that moment, and for about the past 24 hours i've been thinking "what ifs".

the most major one is "what if i don't get back?"

i think the answer is that a part of me will die brokenhearted. slovenia is a beautiful country filled with some of the warmest, genuine people i have ever met. maybe i'm a bit biased because they are my family, and maybe i'm just sick of americans. but i know that i need to go back to my roots again some day. i hope i can share the experience with someone else the next time around.

in the meantime, i'll be obsessed with my pictures and diary from abroad.
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    ecstatic delighted

what a weird dream

so my dream starts off with me, laura, and some other people taking a....cab? home from whatever gathering we were at. we end up in venice-like neighborhood of what is supposedly chicago to drop of some girl. for some reason we end up going into some random person's house, who ends up being some really old lady who has been widowed a few times. we keep telling her (laura and i that is) that we have to go, but she insists on feeding us first. laura is scared out of her wits, but we eventually come to terms with the lady and find out shes really awesome. after *a few hours*, we each call our parents to get us. my mom comes somewhat immediately and laura's extended family comes. all the sudden we're in this chuck-e-cheese type place and i can't find anyone, but i'm actually looking for friends too. i find pete snyder, laura.... and someone else. and ask the guy at the front to make sure they dont wander off, like a herd of cattle. when i walk away i see someone else and send them to the group up front.

then i woke up.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
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